I just can't write. I'm not a writer. I can't do it.

Okay, I CAN write. My writing flows and I can do great dialog and my grammar and spelling are good and I have a decent vocabulary and my characters are ALWAYS IC. It's my plots that suck. They're so boring and... nonexistent. I want to write. I do! I'm good at it. My problem is that I can't put ideas together to form a story. And that's not all of it. Another problem is that I can't put into words what I'm having trouble with.

Ideas just won't come to me in the form of something that can be fleshed out into a written work, even a short one. Ideas come to me in screenshots and emotions. Sometimes I'll even get a random scene in my head, but it's a scene without a plot. I can flesh out the scene a little bit and make up some dialog, but I just can't think of a resolution, an ending, a moral to the story. It has no POINT. This is why I think I always used to hate writing. My writing was always so forced and difficult because I just didn't have any ideas. I never had anything to write about.

All the other aspects of a story are so easy. The characters, the setting, the time, the place, the emotions... but these characters are just standing around, not really doing much. And I don't know what it is I should have them do!

I've tried brainstorming, I've tried getting story ideas from my art, and I've even tried asking other people to help me think.

How do you writers get your ideas? Or do you just wait for an idea to hit you? Do you always get your ideas as complete stories with an intro, middle, climax, and end? What inspires you? What do you think my problem is?... because I'm not too sure I know for sure myself.

I would REALLY appreciate some answers to these questions. It would help me a lot. Thanks, guys.

I'm going to go write nonsense for a while and see if something comes to me.

Crap.

I went into the living room this morning and discovered that the straightening I did yesterday removed some of the color from my Maxim wig. It's a faded medium purple now and that just won't do at all. I'm going to have to dye it. *sigh*

You know, I'm looking at those pictures I took last night and it looks like it had already faded by then, I just hadn't noticed it at the time.

...Actually, I'm a little intrigued now because this means I get to experiment with different colors and see if I can get it that really unique almost-black-magenta color.

Well, I guess it's better that I'm learning all this stuff on my own wig than someone else's. And at least there's still more than a month before Comic Con. I can always buy another wig if I royally botch this one up. That Ivy wig in "Black Cherry" would be perfect if I took a magenta-y pinkish sharpie to it. I would just have to do a lot of cutting and styling.

Hokay, time for a trip to Michael's and Rite-Aid.

Looks like I'm going to be without a steady internet connection for a few days. Time Warner Cable needs about a week to transfer our service to the new apartment.

Not sure when it'll be going down yet or when it'll be back up but while it's down I'll be going to the library to check e-mail and GG updates and stuff.

If you don't hear from me for a few days, that's why.

Laterz.

So at 2am and with just two more nights left until Wonder Con to complete my costume AND pack I've gotten the following costume pieces completely finished:

-Wrap (skirt)
-Wig
-Brown tie thingy for hair
-Necklace & Atlantean crystal
-Armband
-Anklets

The bra/bikini top still needs a little bit of stitching to get the folds right but other than that it's finished too. Five-ten minute job tops. I might also alter the armband a bit. It's a little tight and might get uncomfortable if worn all day. However, at this point everything listed above plus the top and armband are wearable and look pretty dang good despite some preferred adjustments.

The robe is the only part that still has a lot of work to be done, however I managed to get the most time-consuming, tedious parts done tonight which is a GREAT relief. A few nights ago I cut out the dark blue fabric (for the keyhole-shaped piece that hangs down the front and around the neck) and the medium blue fabric (for the main robe part) and then I just let it sit for days which I'm now regretting.

These things got done tonight:
-Tiny, intricate designs that go on the front of the keyhole piece got cut out of the maroon fabric. This took a LOT of measuring and a LOT of trial and error and calculations to get the measurements right. And if you know me you'll know that math and I don't get along very well so this was a very difficult and time-consuming procedure.
-Originally I was going to line the edges of the designs with maroon piping so they looked smoother and didn't fray. However, I soon learned that not only was this almost as difficult and MUCH more time-consuming than actually drawing the designs but also that I didn't buy enough piping. I decided to just nix the piping idea and glue the designs straight onto the keyhole piece.
-After another intricate, tedious procedure and lots of glue stuck to my fingers (this is special fabric glue, mind you, it STICKS to porous surfaces) I had the front keyhole piece covered in some very smooth and perfectly-placed designs and ready to have the interfacing (thick fabric used to make garments stiff) ironed onto it.
-I cut out the keyhole pattern into the interfacing and made it slightly smaller to make sure it'd fit inside once the two sides were sewn together. It then got ironed onto the front piece. It's a special interfacing with glue on one side so it'll stick to a fabric surface with the heat of an iron.
-Then the front side of the keyhole piece was sewn onto the back side. I left a hole in the edge seam so I could turn it right-side-in.
-Now I'm about to iron it and smooth/flatten it out.

The following still has to be completed:
-The gold ribbon sewn onto the edge of the keyhole piece.
-Figure out where to place the keyhole piece onto the robe.
-Figure out how and where the sleeves should be cut according to where the keyhole is placed.
-Hem the sleeves and shoulders of robe.
-Sew the sleeves on.
-Sew up the sides.
-Hem the bottom edge of the robe according to my height.
-Permanantly attach the keyhole to the robe.
-Attach hooks & eyes.

That looks like a lot of things but really each of those little projects should only take about 5-10 minutes each. The figuring out the keyhole placement and sleeves might take up to a half hour each and the gold ribbon could also be time consuming. Still, even if those things do take a long time we're looking at about another 2 and a half hours of work which can easily be completed in one night. That's not counting the hooks and eyes but those can be attached at the last minute and should only take another half hour or so. Those effing hooks and eyes are tedious but only require a needle and thread so I could bring that project to work.

My goal is to have the robe finished by tomorrow night except for the hooks & eyes and maybe the attaching of the keyhole. We'll see.

And somewhere in there I'll find time to pack.

Oh! And my wig cap arrived and made the wig look SO much better on my head. Yay! However, I'm still waiting for the dark blue kickpants (aka cheer briefs) to arrive. They were expected to have arrived today but no one was here to recieve the package so if it did arrive it's in the office. I asked my roommate to go down and get it for me tomorrow morning as I'll have no time to do that myself because the office is only open during my work hours.

Now that I have all this written down I at least feel more organized.

And now, with five hours until I have to get up, I sleep.

Now THIS horse knows how to have fun!



I love watching this. A happy, healthy horse having this much fun just gives me more joy than almost anything else in the world.

Oh, I miss my baby.

I got a jury summons. However, it's in Fresno. I have to call them and tell them that I work in Orange County and that special arrangements will have to be made. My dad had to do that same thing once. Ugh.

The audition went well. There were about 30 girls/women there which is a lot less than I was expecting. Eight of us made it to the end (yes, "us" means I was included in that eight), they videotaped us each singing a song that's in the show, the tapes will be sent to their partners in Tokyo, and then they sent us all home telling us they'd contact us. All I can do now is wait.

Ugh, they canceled my doctor appointment for this morning and want me to come in this afternoon. I got up early for nothing. Blah.

Oh well, this means I can miss a set or two for my appointment. Okay, gotta finish eating breakfast and then leave for work. I am an Incredible lady today. ;-)

Dear Tech Support,

Recently I purchased and installed Horse 1.0. I soon noticed that this program appears to have numerous glitches. For instance, every time my computer boots up, I have to run Feed 5.3 and Water 7.1. Many times I've been in the middle of writing an important document, and a window will flash telling me to run Clean Stall 2.0. This program also contained applications I did not wish to install, such as Manure 8.5, however they auto-installed with Horse 1.0. Applications such as Vacation 2.7 and Free Time 10.1 can no longer run, crashing whenever selected. Possibly the worst is that Horse 1.0 has attached itself to programs like Finance Manager and MS Money, with folders added such as "Monthly Shoeing" and "Winter Blanket". Periodically, I'll get a reminder telling me to send a check to the manufacturer of Horse 1.0 for the aforementioned items. I have tried to uninstall Horse 1.0 numerous times, but when I try to run the uninstall program, I get warning messages telling me that a deadly virus known as "Withdrawal" will infect my system. Please Help!!!!!

THE REPLY:

Dear User,

Your complaint is not unusual. A common misconception among users is that Horse 1.0 is a mere "utilities and entertainment program." It is not - it is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its' creator to run everything! A warning will soon be imprinted on the box. Since you have already installed Horse 1.0, here are a few tips on how to make it run better. If you are annoyed by the applications Feed 5.3 and Water 7.1, you may run C: \HIRE HELP, however this will cause another folder to be added to financial applications, labeled "Staff". Failure to send payment to "Staff" will result in Feed 5.3 and Water 7.1 being run again on startup. A note of caution: NOT booting up your computer for several days isn't the solution to avoiding Feed 5.3 and Water 7.1. You will find that, when you boot up your computer again, a nasty virus called "Colic 4.2" will have attached itself to important documents and the only way to rid your computer of Colic 4.2 is by purchasing and installing "Vet 10.1", which we admit is extremely expensive, but crucial. Otherwise, Colic 4.2 will cause irreversible damage to the operating system. Finally, it is important that you run C:\Carrots and C:\Scratch Ears on a fairly regular basis to keep the application running smoothly. If you have any more questions, please call our toll free number.

Sincerely, Tech Support

(Still can't find a boarding stable in the area for Brego that I can afford.

*sigh* And yet again my computer has dropped dead as a doornail. By the way, exactly HOW dead IS a doornail? This is why I've been sort of dropped-off-the-face-of-the-planet lately.

That thing is around about ten years old now and I've come to realize that no matter how many times my dad "fixes" it and updates the crap out of it, it will continue to give me a wide cornucopourri of problems. That's right, it's time for...

A NEW COMPUTER!

I've already found the one I want and I just applied for a credit card to enable me to buy it. I could easily save up enough money to buy it straight out of my checking account in just a month or two but I honestly don't think I can wait that long. If I get approved I'll have that new computer in about a week. Until then I'm catching as much time on my roommate's lappy as I can scrounge, so don't expect me to update much (if at all) until the new compy shows up.

I'm also considering buying a monitor with it. I don't especially NEED one at the moment as my ancient, 50 lb, white(ish) one still works fine, but I know it won't last too much longer and if I buy a monitor with the computer I'll get a special deal on it. Or I could just wait for prices to go down and just buy one when my off-white box dies.

Anypoo, I have a party to go to today so I best start getting myself all prettied up.

The next person who tells me that horseback riding isn't a sport or isn't exercise because "you just sit there" and "the horse does all the work" gets to ride my horse at a posting trot for half an hour and see if every muscle in their body isn't screaming in agony the next day.

Health specialists are now saying that horseback riding is one of the most effective exercises you can do because it works your entire body constantly.

Not a sport my FOOT.